FU Long Covid!

Last January I caught what I thought was going to be a mild flu. It was Covid and it sure as hell wasn’t mild…

I spent 2 weeks in bed, doing little more than sleeping, watching Netflix (sleeping though most of what I was watching) and knitting. I had trouble breathing, so I called my doctor. I had to count my breaths per minute and if it was higher than a certain number, I had to call back and would probably be admitted to hospital. My count was just 2 counts under the boundary…

In February I went back to my doctor’s office. The beign short of breath and low in energy hadn’t subsided. Diagnosis: Long Covid. Fuck, this is going to take a while… Simply getting a glass of water in the kitchen and going back to the couch was too much and I’d need to catch my breath. By March I managed to reach the gate of our 10m deep backgarden…

I started taking daily walks, hoping to increase my endurance. At first I managed 10 minutes, by May/June I could do about 20-30 minutes. Unfortunately, that was it. I tried a few longer walks, around 45 minutes, even went for a walk with B and V, but each time I did that, I relapsed and would need days to get back to where I was before.

6 months later…

It’s now the end of July and this damned Long Covid hasn’t subsided. Not only is my energy level and endurance total crap, my mental health has started to suffer. Frustration at not getting clearly better, frustration at not being able to keep up with the housekeeping, feeling guilty towards my fiancé and son, just not feeling like me anymore.

So, last week I snapped. My big sister dropped by and I just broke down. That same afternoon I contacted my doctor and the next day I had set up the first of many appointments. Physical therapy, occupational therapy, mental support and nutritional advice, the full package.

I feel defeated because I couldn’t get through this on my own like I’ve always done. My teenage depression, the dark time 11 years ago when in the space of a month I not only lost my job, but also saw my then-partner run off with another… I dealt with it all on my own. But now, I need help and it’s hard to admit that. Then again, on the other hand: I need help. And I went and asked for it. And people are pulling together to help me. I’m getting help! I don’t have to do it on my own anymore! Yay!

A future beyond Long Covid

I have hope again. I see a future in which I can go for hours of walks with my boys, where I can possibly even run again!

I can do this!